I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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