you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You're like the curious george of whores
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
