just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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