At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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