I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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