You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
