Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
