i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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