so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
