I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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