Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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