I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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