He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
