Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
