It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
