so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
