you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
