Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
