First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
