I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
