Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
