Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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