Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize