youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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