we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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