i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
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Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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