Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
