The maid of honor just puked.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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