waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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