You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
