Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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