Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
