What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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