Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
