I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
