So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize