You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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