Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize