You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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