You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
