btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
