you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize