so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
