Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
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He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
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Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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