What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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