the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
