actually, I'm a sock model
zippers are such a cool invention
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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