She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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