I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
