Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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