so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
