its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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