Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
