He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
