He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
