Ambien. No doubt about it.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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