i just google imaged poop.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
