Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
