he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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