Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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