I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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