grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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