i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
