Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
