Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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