Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
